Tell Me That You Love Me
by vanillaandtoothpaste
Summary: The thing with Beck and Jade was that at first glance you couldn't see it. The couple would argue, snap and roll their eyes at each other. Most people after first meeting them wondered why on earth they even stayed together. But if you got to know them, you would realise that Beck and Jade were the perfect fit. Bade/ Jori Friendship.
1. Tell Me That You Love Me

**Hi everyone.** **Thanks for opening this and welcome to my new multi-chapter fic****. It's in a completely different world to Just In Case! Stay with me.. Chapter 1 is kind of an introduction. It's a Bade story and its gonna get pretty angsty very quickly! I hope you like it :)**

**(I'm trying out a new writing style! I hope it works.. let me know how I can improve, likes/dislikes, anything!)**

**Disclaimer : I don't own victorious.**

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The thing with Beck and Jade was that at first glance you couldn't see it. The couple would argue, snap and roll their eyes at each other. Most people after first meeting them wondered why on earth they stayed together. But if you got to know them, you would realise that Beck and Jade were the perfect fit. They were in love. You could tell from the way they looked at each other, from their need to be touching at least a little bit. Or when in the middle of an argument Jade would benignly lean onto Beck's chest as if to say 'i'm still here' and for a brief moment they would silently hold each before continuing to argue. You could feel it from just being near them... They were soul mates.

During the final performance of Uptown Downtown, Jade watched from the wings. She couldn't understand why watching the scene where Beck's character confessed his love for Tori's character hurt so much. She knew it was only acting but her heart broke at just the thought of Tori holding Beck. She still felt vulnerable after her and Beck's break up a few weeks previous. She had never been so close to losing him before and despite the break up lasting less than a week, it had left her feeling scared and insecure and she just couldn't mute the part of her that was terrified he didn't feel as deeply for her as she felt for him.

'Okay.. Whats wrong? You've been quiet the whole ride home' Beck demanded as he up pulled into Jades driveway later that night. Jade scoffed and raised an eyebrow at Beck who stared into her eyes insistently. Jade contemplated admitting how she felt. She was scared but she couldn't find a reasonable explanation why. She was Jade West.. she'd never felt like this before.

After a whole minute of silence Beck sighed and realising he wasn't getting any deeper into the mind of Jade West tonight, pulled her silently onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and Jade all but melted under his touch as he placed a soft kiss on her temple.

'Tell me that you love me' Jade nervously blurted out, surprising the fluffy haired guy.

'Magic word?' Beck coaxed teasingly, his hands caressing her waist.

'Please' Jade added urgently. Beck couldn't help but notice her angst about this and suddenly he didn't feel like teasing her anymore.

'I love you' Beck assured, his lips lingering next to her ear and the vibrations of his hot breath sending shivers down her spine. He said each world slowly and clearly wanting her to know he meant it. Jade let out a deep sigh of relief. She hadn't realised how badly she needed to hear that until the words came out of his mouth and gradually the aching sad feeling in her chest began to dissipate.

Jade pulled Beck's face closer to her own. Ice blue met chocolate brown and it was Beck who finally gave in, pressing his lips on hers in a heated but loving kiss. Jade, feeling complete in Beck's embrace felt her doubts fluttering away and she moaned 'I love you' back in between kisses. She knew as long as they loved each other, they would make it.

Almost a half hour later and Jade finally got out of Beck's car and made her way into her house. Upon opening the front door her eyes immediately fell to a sticky note her parents had left in the hallway.

_Jade,  
Your Mother and I have left for Vancouver for an important conference. We won't be back for at least 2 weeks.  
Bye, Dad._

Jade couldn't say she was upset to learn that her parents would be gone for so long. This wasn't the first time they had left her and honestly Jade was grateful to have the house to herself. Her parents were the type who constantly fought. Shouting, crying, screaming. It often got too much for Jade who never dared say anything to her judgmental and intimidatingly strict parents. She would just let the anger build up inside her all too often letting it out on her friends at school.

Feeling tired after a long evening of her emotions rollercoastering she quickly showered and got dressed for bed, but after tossing and turning for an hour she gave up on attempting to sleep. Her head was still swirling with thoughts from this evening.

Taking advantage of the fact her parents were away and she wouldn't be disturbing anyones sleep she slipped out of bed and crept downstairs to the music room. The grand piano took centre piece there. Dusty and barely used, Jade sat down and pressed her fingers down lightly on the keys. She wasn't the best at piano in her school by far, but she had been playing for as long as she could remember and it came quite naturally to her. However Jade was a writer, in fact she was the best songwriter in her year at Hollywood Arts, but she mostly kept her talent to herself.

Jade realised she needed to get her feelings out of her head so she could clear her mind and music was her best outlet. She closed her eyes and began to play the grand instrument all the time letting her mind become absorbed with her thoughts.

_Tell me that you love me  
And tell me that I take your breath away  
And maybe if you take one more than I would know for sure  
There's nothing left to say  
Tell me that you love me anyway_

It was 5am by the time she finally finished the song. She was extremely tired and knew the song wasn't the best she'd ever written; In fact she wasn't even sure she liked it all that much. But writing it had calmed her and that was good enough for now. She named the song _Tell Me That You Love Me_... directly quoting what she'd asked Beck last night and recorded a demo before dragging herself back upstairs to her bedroom, this time falling asleep easily.

On Monday, Jade put the song directly into the Hollywood Arts song archive. She knew by now that she wouldn't ever want to sing it. Actually she wasn't sure she wanted anyone else to sing it either. _Tell me that you love me_ was really personal, expressing her feelings. But knowing she would surely get an easy A for the song, Jade handed it in anyway. There were hundreds of songs in the archive and Jade told herself there was zero chance anyone would find it.. But she was wrong.

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	2. Tell Me That I Take Your Breath Away

**Hi :)**  
**This chapter is dedicated to the 2 amazing people who followed the story after only one chapter! You're the best guys :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own victorious**

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Tori fell in love with the song. She listened to the demo and immediately asked her teacher if her and Andre could sing it for their pop vocals class. Their teacher agreed but informed the duo that she would have to ask permission from the composer before they could have copies of the sheet music.

Tori watched in curiosity as her teacher made her way across the classroom. She wanted to know who the talented songwriter was but blinked taken aback when she saw whose desk her teacher stopped at. The goth with multi-coloured streaks in her hair was sitting alone in the corner scribbling into a notebook. She looked irritated when her teacher interrupted her from her thoughts. Tori and Andre glanced at each other in complete and utter shock. The meanest girl in Hollwood Arts, nicknamed The Wicked Witch of the West had written _Tell Me That You Love Me?_

Jade actually found the whole thing hilariously ironic. If it weren't for Tori then Jades jealously and insecurity wouldn't have skyrocketed the way it had done. If Jade hadn't had to watch Tori and Beck in Uptown Downtown, then she might have been able to sleep that night and _Tell Me That You Love Me_ would never have came to be.

Tori and Andre watched as Jade argued with their teacher, they couldn't really hear much of what was going on but Tori could tell Jade was not happy about her singing her song. Eventually Jade crossed her arms and shrugged in annoyance. Tori gulped.. wondering if the song was worth giving the vicious girl another reason to hate her. When the teacher walked back to the desk and informed Tori and Andre that the composer had agreed. Tori smiled nervously. She glanced towards the mean girl who was now angrily cutting up a pile of black paper and wondered how someone of that demeanor could have written anything so heartfelt and sweet. But then there was another side to Jade. And although Tori had only attended this school for 3 months, she had already witnessed it.

It had happened 3 weeks after she transferred into Hollywood Arts. Tori happened to be extra early that day because her Dad had driven her to school rather than her (takes-3-hours-to-get-ready) sister. Tori had a good view of the car park as she sipped on a mint tea in the Asphalt whilst she waited for her friends. It was Jade's car that pulled up first and Tori gulped wondering if she had enough time to go back inside before her frenemy spotted her. But when she realised Beck was with her, she relaxed knowing that Jade wouldn't do anything to harm her while he was there.

Beck climbed out of the passenger side first. Tori had never seen Beck look anything less than content so she was surprised to see him looking kind of miserable and worried. Jade climbed out of the drivers side and went over to stand next to her boyfriend. Tori couldn't help but watch as Jade slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and played with the ends of his hair. Beck had closed his eyes and was resting his forehead on her shoulder

'It will be ok. Your Mum is so strong, try not to worry too much' Tori overheard the goth saying in the softest voice imaginable.

'I know..' Beck sighed as he kept tight hold of Jade as she stroked the side of his sad face.

'I love you okay?' Jade reassured him.

'I love you too' Beck replied pressing a chaste kiss on her lips and taking hold of her hands. As they walked together towards the school Jade replaced the sweet expression she'd been using to speak to Beck with her usual glare and Beck fixed a smile on his face. Defence mechanisms, that they had each perfected. The couple didn't realise Tori had seen the whole interaction, that Tori knew they had broken down each others walls.

Tori wondered if the song was about Beck. But then of course it was about Beck. Tell me that you love me? It was almost like a bit they did. When Beck told Jade he loved her, she didn't need to say it back. She would just smile, as though nothing else mattered as long as they were together.

"_Tell me you love me"_

"Magic word"

"Please..."

"I love you."

Andre began to work the chords on the piano as Tori read through the song. The lyrics were heart warming and Tori loved the harmonies Andre added. The duo practiced the song until the bell rang signaling the end of class. But just as Tori was about to pack up and head to the Asphalt for lunch, the sheet music was snatched from her grasp.

'Hey!' Tori shouted in annoyance as Jade yanked the other copy from Andre. The pale girl pulled a pen out of her bag and pressing hard on the sheet music, crossed something out.

'Never speak of it!' Jade snarled, her eyes glistening threateningly as she shoved the sheet music back into Tori's hands... Jade pointed her scissors toward the two of them and Andre and Tori nodded in terror. Jade groaned angrily before storming out of the classroom and slamming the door. Tori exhaled in relief and glanced towards Andre who was gripping tightly to the piano with a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead before handing Andre's copy of the sheet music back to him. Where it had once said _Words and Music by Jadelyn West_ there was now a thick black line.

Noone mentioned who wrote the song ever again. Noone mentioned it at the restaurant when Tori and Andre performed it to get out of paying the bill. Noone mentioned it after Tori and Andre both got A's in their pop vocals class. When anyone asked Tori who wrote the song she always changed the subject. She wasn't sure why. Sure she knew Jade would likely kill her if she told anyone, but that wasn't what was stopping her. This song was it in Tori's eyes. There was no longer any doubt in Tori's mind just how in love Jade was with Beck and she didn't feel as though she had the right to share that with everyone.

Almost 2 years later and Tori had completely forgotten that _Tell Me That You Love Me_ even existed. Tori had gotten pretty good at songwriting herself and was thrilled when she found out that she would be in advanced songwriting class with Jade, Andre, and Cat this year. She knew Jade was hiding her talent for songwriting but occasionally she would get rare glimpses of just how good Jade was. She once wrote one line of the chorus for Andre's song 'Okay' and the boy fell in love with her. Another time when Tori herself wrote a song to get back at Ryder Daniels Jade came up with almost all the lyrics for the verses. Noted; Jade was extremely pissed off with Beck at the time after he gave her a time out.

But other than those two times, Tori hadn't heard any more of Jades original songs. She hoped now that they were in the same songwriting class she might get to hear more of Jades lyrics. But on arrival to class that day she stopped abruptly overhearing a conversation occurring inside the classroom.

'There's no point in me taking this class! I don't write songs anymore!' Jade snapped viciously

'I just don't understand Jade, you've always been so passionate about it, why don't you want to write songs anymore?' Their teacher Anthony spoke softly.

'I just don't' Jade replied in a mumble

'Look Jade.. I know you're going through a hard time after your break up-'

'No' Jade interrupted, refusing to talk about it.

'It might help you, you're obviously hurt-'

'Just stop' Jade affirmed.. Tori could hear the pain in her voice from the other side of the door and she felt bad for the mean girl.

'Look.. I just want out of this class... please' Jade desperately tried one final time.

'I'm sorry Jade but you can't drop this class. It's compulsory.' Anthony said firmly.

'Urghhh!' Jade moaned, slouching into a chair in the corner of the classroom.

Tori knew Jade was hurting after the break up. When two of your closest friends break up, the feeling of hurt and brokenness is felt by everyone close. And when Beck and Jade broke up, it was no different. The pain of the break up cut through the group of friends and everyone felt a little more lost than they did before. After the initial shock and evident sadness that pained the couple for the first week, both Beck and Jade withdrew from their emotions and carried on as though nothing had ever happened between the two of them. They avoided each other as much as possible and the rest of the group avoided mentioning the other when speaking to them.

Tori had been shocked when it was in fact the cooler and more collected of the pair who broke down first. One evening about 2 months after the break up, Tori, Beck, Andre and Robbie were working on a history project together at Tori's. They'd been there for 3 long, tedious hours and giving up on the project Robbie began flicking through the movie channels on the tv. For some reason Robbie settled on the horror channel and an editors cut of The Scissoring. It was Andre who first noticed the change in his best friends behaviour and nudged Tori concerned who turned to face Beck. The usually untroubled guy was staring at the screen with tears in his eyes, as a creepy girl played with a pair of bloodied silver scissors.

'Rob.. put something else on' Andre told Robbie anxiously.

'No! I'm finally brave enough to watch the stabbing scene' Robbie argued, not noticing the warning looks Andre and Tori were giving him. Just as Tori was about to suggest that they switch the tv off altogether Beck suddenly walked out the front door.

'Oh' Robbie said realising what was going on.

'Come on' Tori said solemnly to Andre and the three of them followed their friend out of the house. They didn't have to go far. They found Beck sat on the wall outside Tori's house with his head in his hands.

'Beck?' Andre cleared his throat as he sat down next to his best friend, placing a hand on his back nervously. Beck exhaled heavily and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Tori went round the other side and pulled him into a hug. Her heart sunk seeing her friend so upset.

'You must think i'm so dumb right now' Beck croaked.

'No we don't' Tori said softly.

'Its a really scary movie' Robbie added, earning himself glares from Tori and Andre.

'I just fucking miss her' Beck sniffed, emphasising each word painfully and neither Andre nor Tori knew what to do as more tears fell from his eyes. In the end they just held him silently, knowing there was really nothing they could say.

After 3 weeks of songwriting class. Tori hadn't seen Jade write a single word, nor had she sung a single note. She hadn't shown up to half of the classes and in those she did she sat there refusing to participate. Anthony would pull her to the side and try to get through to her.. but he never could.. she wouldn't write. The truth was Jade couldn't write. To write, to sing, she would be forced to confront the part of her that was aching. The part that was broken. Jade could cry for hours at a time these days, her body would wrack with sobs to the point she made herself sick and everything constantly hurt. She just couldn't let herself feel those emotions in front of people. She needed to protect herself.

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**Review if you like xox :D**


	3. If You Take One More I'll Know For Sure

**Hi everyone. I'm so sorry for the late update! I had a bad case of writers block as this chapter is really just a filler but the next chapter is the dramatic one! Thank you all so much for the reviews, you really filled me with confidence :D Anyway.. ahh i'm so excited for the next chapter! I'll hopefully upload tomorrow but it depends on when I finish it! lots of love :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own victorious**

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It had been a whole month since semester started and Jade still refused to participate in song writing class. Anthony had long given up on attempting to force Jade to write or sing. He had considered phoning her parents or threatening to send her to the principals office, he even thought about referring her for counseling sessions with Lane, but he had a feeling that none of those things would change her attitude. He wanted his top student back and was determined to get her singing again.

On that particular day Jade decided to sit next to Cat, who was happily writing a bubbly song about rainbow giraffes. Jade grabbed the lyrics from Cat and read through them. The song was cute.. but come on, hippo doesn't rhyme with jungle. Jade faked a smile as she handed the lyrics back to her red headed friend and seriously questioned how on earth Cat got into advanced songwriting. Just then, Tori burst through the door arriving late. Flustered she quickly apologised to Anthony, gave Andre a quick hug good morning and then pulled out her notebook. Anthony clapped his hands together getting the attention of the talkative class before beginning to speak.

'Okay now that we're all here, I have an important announcement I'd like to make' Anthony paused to make sure everyone was listening. 'On Tuesday, Hollywood Arts is putting on a short presentation and performance for the 8th graders at Hollywood Arts Middle School and this class along with Advanced Guitar and Senior Acting have been chosen to present. We'll be presenting in the morning and you'll have the rest of the day off school'

'Yay. I can't wait to see Miss McCann again!' Cat squealed, throwing her arms around Jade who promptly shook her away. The rest of the class began to talk excitedly amongst themselves at the prospect of performing for the middle school.

'So on Tuesday morning we'll meet in the playground outside Hollywood Arts Middle school along with Lane and Sikowitz. We'll be showcasing a few songs written by you and answering any questions they might have about starting high school. You all need to be there.. that includes you Jade' Anthony said warningly and Jade smiled back sarcastically.

The class immediately began to pick out songs and practice for the presentation. As usual, Tori partnered with Andre, Cat sung whistle octave harmonies in a group with some other girls and Jade sat in the corner staring off into space. Anthony watched the now black haired girl carefully. Her eyes were empty and sad as she watched her classmates sing. She missed it. She'd lost so many things these past couple of months and songwriting was a big part of her life that was gone. The bell rang and as everyone began to pack their stuff away, Anthony approached Jades desk.

'Jade, could you stay behind a few minutes?' Anthony gently suggested but Jade just rolled her eyes.

'If this is you attempting another intervention then save it' The raven haired girl snapped, Anthony put his hands up in surrender as she stormed out of the classroom.

Things for Jade had been getting progressively worse. Her parents were arguing more than usual, the word divorce was thrown around lightly these days and every little thing ended in a fight. Her parents argued late into the night, only stopping when her father stormed out around 3am. If anything, it only affirmed Jades belief that love doesn't exist. Love was just some sick game that breaks people. And yet, every night as she lay curled up in bed, she would cover her ears with her pillow. A desperate attempt to muffle the sound of her fathers shouting, her mothers crying, and she would wish Beck was there. To feel his protective arms around her and for him to tell her it was just a dream, he would never leave her. They never ended.

Jade wiped her eyes and went over to her desk, pulling out a notebook and pen. Her hand shook as she lifted the pen, knowing what she was doing but almost wishing she wasn't.

Tell me that I dreamt it,  
Rock away my fears,  
Say you'll never leave me ,  
Wipe away my tears

Jade wrote those lyrics down before beginning to feel sick. Her heart had already begun to ache and she couldn't stand it. Every heartbeat was like a punch.

'No I can't' she said out loud, ripping the paper out of her notebook and throwing it away. The shouting had stopped and Jade crawled back into bed. Time for sleep.

The day of the presentation quickly arrived and it turned out the whole gang was attending. Beck was taking senior acting that semester and Robbie was in advanced guitar and of course Tori, Jade, Andre and Cat were there for songwriting class. As the gang chatted together with others from school, Tori couldn't help but notice how tired Jade looked. Her eyes were red and her makeup looked slightly worn away and it made Tori wonder if her frenemy had been crying. Beck noticed too and just as everyone began to make their way into the school hall he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

'You ok?' Beck asked his ex-girlfriend concerned. Jade rarely let her feelings show, so seeing her so sad had flashed him warning signs that something was really wrong. They may be broken up but that didn't mean he didn't still care about her.

'I'm fine' Jade snapped, looking away from him. It was evident to him that she was lying. He had dated her for 3 years.. he knew that 'i'm fine' usually translated to 'i'm not ok.. hold me' and he ran his hand through his hair unsure what he was supposed to do.

'It's ok if you're not, you know?' Beck said quietly, taking her hand into his. Jade flinched at his touch and pulled her hand back instantly.

'Don't' Jade warned, still not looking at him directly. Beck sighed before following everyone else into the school hall. It hurt him seeing her like this and he just needed to know what was wrong. He needed her to be happy again, but he wondered if could even remember what happy Jade looked like. A part of him was also anxious to see what Jade was going to perform today, scared that he wouldn't be able to listen to her voice without breaking down again. Beck was one of the few people who knew about Jade's songwriting, but he was completely in the dark about her lack of it. Andre patted his friend on the back as he entered the hall and Cat gave Jade a small sympathetic smile as she miserably sat down next to her. Everyone could feel that something wasn't sitting right today and noone could shake the feeling that something was about to explode, but they didn't realise how soon that would be.

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**See you all again tomorrow hopefully :)**


	4. There's Nothing Left To Say

**I'M SO SORRRYYYY! Saying I would update the next day was a downright lie wasn't it?... :( I majorly overestimated my abilities!**

**This chapter is kind of what inspired me to write the whole thing, I was listening to ****_Tell Me That You Love Me_**** one day and I imagined Jade singing it and then I imagined how hard it would be for her to sing it whilst broken up with Beck and so said story was born. I tried really hard to write how I imagine the song sounding if Jade sang it.. let me know how I did with that. It was really hard to mix the lyrics in with the story and convey it to you all what I imagined it to be like. Enjoy :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own victorious**

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The school hall was pretty packed. With 3 classes from the high school along with teachers and students from the middle school there must have been at least 150 people in the room. Advanced guitar was performing first and the remaining high school students sat at the side of the hall to watch along with the middle schoolers. Beck had been forced to take the seat next to Jade after they both entered the hall last and an awkward silence lingered between them. Both wondered silently to themselves how they became _this._ They used to be in sync; they could calm each other when emotions ran high; they would know exactly what the other was thinking. But right now, although they were merely inches away, it felt like they were miles from each other and only growing further apart.

After a brief introduction by the Principal of the middle school, Advanced guitar began their showcase. Many different genres were showcases on both electric and acoustic guitar and everyone in the room was dancing and singing along happily. Robbie and 2 girls in his class did a performance of Travelin' Soldier by the Dixie Chicks. It was an outstanding version and everyone cheered loudly at the end.

Both Beck and Jade visibly stiffened when a girl from the year below them took to the stage and announced she was performing an acoustic version of I'm with you by Avril Lavigne. It had been their song. They had kissed to it, danced to it, made love to it. Having made no secret that this was their song, Tori, Cat and Andre all turned their heads to gage their reactions. Jade suddenly found the ceiling fascinating whereas Beck opted to stare at the back of the room, glancing at his phone every few seconds

Jade thought her prayers had been answered when Sikowitz called the Senior Acting class backstage half way through the song. As soon as Beck left, Jade let go of the breath she'd been holding in and relaxed a little. Her heart was still beating over-time and she wasn't sure how she was holding herself together, but she was and that was enough for now. Jade hardly noticed Cat's tiny hand taking hold of her own. For the whole of 10 seconds she found it comforting until she realised what she was doing and snatched her hand back.

Senior Acting put on a short production of a very philosophical play to do with consciousness and the mind. Both Cat and Tori were extremely confused throughout the whole thing which Jade found both irritating and amusing. When it was finally Advanced songwriting's turn to perform, their class waited backstage as Anthony took to the stage to introduce them.

'Hi guys, coming up next we'll be performing some original songs. This is our advanced songwriting class so if you are as amazing at writing lyrics as these guys then I hope to see you in my class in a few years. First up is the very talented Andre Harris.' Anthony turned to Andre and welcomed him to the stage.

Andre was clapped onto the stage and he gave a small wave as he took his seat at the piano and began to sing his latest song he'd been working on. Cat, Tori and Jade watched from the side. Although Tori and Cat were absorbed in the song, Jade couldn't help but notice the way Anthony kept catching her eye. She tried to shake it off but she could sense he was up to something.

Andre finished his song and the audience applauded loudly. Andre stood up ready to leave but Anthony quickly stepped back on to the stage and motioned to him to stay seated.

'Okay! The next person i'd like to welcome to the stage is one of Hollywood Arts most talented students. She wrote this song when she was just 16 and has continued to impress me with her talents since then. The ability to convey your thoughts through a song is a beautiful gift, and sometimes we need a little reminder how special we are. So please put your hands together for Jade West.'

'No, no, no' Jade exclaimed, shaking her head horrified. Her entire class looked towards her as she glared at Anthony ferociously.

'Go on Jade' Tori whispered to Jade who continued to glare at her teacher and gave her a nudge in the direction of the stage

'Don't touch me! I can't even remember the songs I wrote when I was 16, what is he trying to do?!' Jade shouted angrily.

'You'll know this one Jade' Anthony appeared next to her and pressured her towards the stage handing her a microphone.

'No, NO, NOO! You can't force me!' Jade shouted as Anthony walked her forwards. Jade crossed her arms in annoyance as she was given a final push on to the stage. The audience was staring at her confused and out of the corner of her eye she could see Beck and Robbie watching intently.

'Do you know what she's singing?' Robbie asked Beck confused, 'I didn't even know she wrote songs'

'She's amazing' Beck mumbled as he watched his ex girlfriend looking into the audience with a death glare. He could tell even if no one else could that she was still upset. He could tell from the way she was anxiously pulling at her necklace and kept looking up at the ceiling. It looked to most people like she was bored, but Beck knew her well enough to know that when she did that, she was trying to disconnect from her feelings.

Jade turned to Andre who just shrugged innocently. He didn't know anything about it until just then either and Jade walked over to the piano to look at the sheet music Anthony had conveniently left there. She stared at the piece music for a few seconds in disbelief before shaking her head and saying in a deep voice.. 'No.'

Jade stormed to the side of the stage but Anthony had already anticipated her reaction and blocked her from leaving. She was forced to step back on to the stage where Andre was looking at her sympathetically. Just the thought of singing this song hurt. She wanted to run away so badly but there was no escape. Rolling her eyes she walked back over to the piano and gave Andre instructions.

'Way, way slower and change this section to a minor. I hate it being so happy' Jade ordered Andre, who nodded and scribbled a little on the sheet music. By now the audience was talking quietly amongst themselves wondering what was taking so long.

'Hey!' Jade shouted causing the audience to fall silent 'Yeah so I wasn't supposed to sing this today so don't expect it to be good' Jade then closed her eyes and stood still centre stage. Andre took this moment of silence to be his key to start and began the introduction to the song. Playing it slower made each chord more deliberate and the minor key changed the tone of the song completely. Nothing like when Andre and Tori performed it together 2 years ago.

_The situation turned around enough to figure out  
That someone else has let you down_

Tell me that you love me was a romantic song, but the way Jade was singing it was more like a sad, regretful ballad. The room was silent as they became hypnotised by her voice. Suddenly_ Tell Me That You Love Me_ had doubled in emotion and as Jade sang the lyrics, she couldn't help but glance at Beck.

Becks was experiencing a variety of different emotions, from shock, to sadness, to happiness, to love. Never once had it crossed his mind that Jade might have wrote this song, but as he listened to Jade singing the lyrics he couldn't believe he hadn't realised. Jade had asked him all those year ago at the meal, what he thought of the song and he'd wondered why Jade suddenly had an interest in anything Tori did. Tori and Andre must have known who wrote the song... why had noone told him?  
_  
So many times I don't know why  
But I know we can make it as long as you say it_

Jade couldn't hold back and laughed a little at the irony of it all... _they hadn't made it_. Placing a hand on her forehead and pacing around the stage she tried not to think about it but her heart was racing in her chest and she wasn't sure.. no, she was sure she wasn't going to get through this song.

_So tell me that you love me  
And tell me that I take your breath away  
And maybe if you take one more than I would know for sure  
There's nothing left to say  
Tell me that you love me anyway_

By this point tears were rolling down Jades cheeks. You wouldn't have noticed unless you were looking closely, but her friends were watching her intently. Cat and Tori looked towards each other guiltily for making her go up there and as Jade struggled through, Tori began mouthing along with her, willing Jade to continue as she watched the darker haired girl taking shaky breaths between lines and literally crumbling in front of their eyes.

_Waking up beside yourself and what you feel inside  
Is being shared with someone else  
Nowhere to hide I don't know why_

But I kn-

Jades voice finally broke. She couldn't stop the tears anyone and turned away from the audience. The audience made a confused noise but Andre quickly picked up the tune and sung out the chorus for her.

'Oh my god' Tori gasped, putting a hand over her mouth as she realised what was going on. Jade took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, and regained composure for the end of the chorus.

_And maybe if you take one more than I would know for sure  
There's nothing left to say  
Tell me that you love me anyway_

Beck was looking away at this point unable to watch Jade breaking down in front of his eyes. The guilt was eating him inside.. Why hadn't he opened the stupid door? He loathed himself for ruining what they had, they weren't just boyfriend and girlfriend they were so much more than that.

_Show me look what we found turn it around every day  
I can hear what you say  
Now I know why, I know we can, make-_

Jade broke down completely this time and unable to continue singing walked towards the piano to Andre who abruptly stopped playing and hugged the girl who meant so much to his best friend tightly. The audience began to mumble in confusion wondering what had caused the strong girl to get this upset.

'Shh, it's ok, don't worry, it's over, its fine' Andre whispered comfortingly as he held her shaking frame. Tori and Cat both ran up to her and helped guide her off the stage and into the corridor away from the hall. Jade had lost it at this point and was weeping as she curled into a ball and slid her back down the wall.

'Jadey?' Cat whimpered, keeping her distance. Tori looked anxiously towards the red-head with tears forming in her own eyes. Jade was really crying her soul and it was almost too painful to hear. Andre followed the girls out into the hallway concerned and bent down in front of his sobbing friend.

'Hey, hey.. Jade, please listen to me.. its Andre. It's gonna be okay, I promise.'

Jade only continued to get more and more worked up and Andre stepped away defeated. The three friends just stood around, watching her cry her heart out. They knew they couldn't leave her like this but they had no idea what they should do. Just when they were beginning to lose all hope, Beck and Robbie burst through the doors of the hall and joined the group of friends. Beck's eyes were red from holding back tears and everyone looked at him anxiously.

'Jade?' Beck called out quietly. The pale girl turned her head so he couldn't see her face.

'Please, please just go away!' Jade shouted with as much strength as she could muster, but her voice had a tremble to it and uncontrollable sobs continues to wrack her body. Beck was silent for a second as his friends just watched and waited for his reaction. Taking a deep breath he stepped closer and crouched down next to her.

'No.' He said simply, shaking his head.

'What?' Jade stammered through her tears

'No.' Beck repeated, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his forehead against the top of her hair. Jade tried to push him away but he was stronger and held on to her tight, keeping her encased in his arms. She could tell she was hurting him but he still didn't let go and when she finally gave in she was exhausted.

'Settle settle' Beck hushed, holding her tight. Jade whimpered and pressed her face into the crook of his neck. She didn't have the strength to push him away anymore and she could literally feel herself falling apart.

'I'm so sorry Jade' Beck took a deep breath and wiped a tear away from his eye.. 'Please don't cry.'

Jade cried more but allowed him to pull her onto his lap and kiss the top of her head. Beck suddenly noticed their friends were still stood there watching them and he looked up at them pleadingly. Catching on, Tori motioned to everyone back inside the hall to give the couple a little privacy.

'It hurts Beck. Why does it have to hurt so much?' Jade whispered once everyone had left.

'I don't know' Beck whispered back honestly, as he ran his fingers through her soft hair. He hadn't realised breaking up would literally break them like this. He knew how much he'd been hurting but hadn't realised Jade was just as, if not more affected. They were broken and cut by the shards of what had been their relationship. And it didn't hurt any less as time passed, whoever said time heals was wrong. If anything the pain of the cruel, sharp, pieces only intensified each day. All Beck knew in that moment was that holding Jade healed his wounds, maybe not completely, but it sure as hell felt better than seeing her so upset.

'Babe.. please, can we try again? I need you, I love you so much' Beck pleaded nestling his face into her hair but Jade shook her head.

'Jade look at me, please?' Beck tried desperately. Slowly she brought her eyes up to reach his, filled with tears.

'I can't' She whispered

'What do you mean? Please Jade, I promise I won't let you down this time'

'Beck you've really, really hurt me. And i'm not saying this because I don't love you because I love you okay? I miss you to death. But I just don't think I can go through this again' Jade sobbed uncontrollably as Beck rubbed circles on her back comfortingly

'Okay, I-, I respect your decision' Beck said quietly, choking on his words. The lump in his throat had become too hard swallow and he let the tears roll slowly down his cheeks. They did nothing but hold each other for another half hour until Andre reemerged to warn the couple that the performances were over and everyone would be coming out soon. As Jade turned to leave, Beck grabbed her wrist to stop her but she looked up into his eyes pleadingly. If Beck knew anything about Jade, he knew not to question this look - so reluctantly he let her go. As soon as she was out of his sight, Beck felt a hole in him returning that he didn't even realise existed and once again he found himself entirely heartbroken.

When Beck reentered the hall, everyone watched him curiously. Tori gave him an encouraging smile - which was only fractionally reciprocated. Cat who hadn't stopped crying since returning to the hall only became more upset at the realisation that Jade wasn't coming back and Robbie hugged and whispered to her, trying to calm her down for Beck's sake. Their other classmates were also watching the fluffy haired boy, all wondering what was going on. But he didn't stay long enough for anyone ask. He grabbed his jacket and left without speaking to anyone. Because what was he supposed to say? There was nothing left to say.

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**:'(**


	5. Tell Me That You Love Me Anyway

**IMPORTANT! - There have been MAJOR edits to this story. If you have time I would seriously suggest rereading :)**

**Sorry I took so long to update, I have had serious writers block with this story and I didn't want to upload before I thought it was okay. Thank you everyone for reviewing :D They make me so happy and make this feel worth writing hehe.**

**I wanted to post this this evening because like many of you I guess, i'm sitting here ****_wrathful_ because Liz Gillies is singing original songs in LA and I live in the wrong place... I wish I was there SO MUCH!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own victorious.**

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_It was the summer holidays when they first met. They met by accident but neither of them really believed it was accidental. It was more like fate. They hadn't believed in stuff like that before, but something about that first meeting felt like they were given to each other._

_'Hey! What are you doing here? This is my den!' The 14 year old girl asked the fluffy haired boy in annoyance. Of the 8 parks in their neighbourhood, this park was by far the smallest and least popular and this particular clearing amidst a bed of many tall trees was her secret place.. noone was ever here._

_The fluffy haired boy looked up from where he was sat with his knees curled up to his chest and she instantly recognised him from school. He was best friends with Andre who was basically like a brother to her since their parents were old family friends. He was usually hanging out with the popular kids and always looked happy but the girl could sense that today something was really wrong._

_'Sorry.. I didn't know.. i'll just leave' the young boy stuttered as he staggered up. He too recognised the pale girl from school. She had a reputation for being mean and scary and he didn't want to be the one to get on her bad side. He had almost left the clearing when a soft almost vulnerable voice called out.._

_'Beck Oliver right?'_

_'Yeah' Beck turned around slightly surprised to be called back after she'd been so hostile. The pale girl was now sitting on the ground in the centre of the clearing, her long light brown hair reflected blonde in the beam of sunlight that shone through the clearing. She was watching him intently, almost as though she were analysing him. Beck found himself hypnotised by the blueness of her eyes and stared right back._

_'Jadelyn West' Beck said, eventually snapping back to reality as he realised how long they'd been staring at each other._

_'Yes.. but ew I hate that' she replied hastily as she from seemingly nowhere pulled out a pair of scissors and began snipping at the leaves scattered on the ground._

_'What should I call you then?' Beck asked in confusion_

_'Jade duh..' The blue eyed girl snided as though it were obvious._

_'Right. Well. I'll just leave then' Beck replied, not in the mood to be treated like an idiot right now. He turned on his heel__ but before he had time to leave the clearing, once again her voice called him back._

_'You don't have to leave. I mean not that I want you to stay, i'm just saying you can stay if you want.' She said quietly but hopefully._

_Beck turned around and raised an eyebrow. Jade didn't look up at him but just continued to snip at the pile of leaves that were now gathering by her feet. For some reason he found her mesmerising. She was guarded and snappy, but there was definitely something about her that drew him in._

_'Why are you cutting up leaves?' Beck asked curiously as he took a seat next to the girl on the floor. She didn't look at him as she concentrated on cutting furiously._

_'I always cut things when I'm..' she began but stopped as she caught herself. 'I just like cutting stuff up, it calms me down.'_

_'How does that work?' Beck asked skeptically._

_'I don't know! It just does ok?!' Jade snapped defensively, glaring at him. Beck put his hands up in surrender as she shook her head and went back to her scissors._

_The two young teenagers sat quietly for what felt like a really long time. The only sound was that of the scissors and the rustle of the trees but surprisingly it wasn't awkward. Both were deep in thought._

_'Andre mentioned you're got into Hollywood Arts, me too, what's your talent?' Beck asked, wanting to get to know this mysterious person._

_'Singing and writing. I act as well but music is my main interest' She replied stoically 'You?'_

_'Acting, i'm not really musical to be honest.. although I do play guitar' He ran his fingers through his hair as the girl stopped cutting and turned to face him._

_'I could tell' she smirked._

_'Err how?' Beck questioned bewildered._

_'Your fingertips' she replied, her lips curving into a slight smile at his confusion and she reached out and turned his left hand over so the tips of his fingers faced upwards. His fingertips were rough from pressing on the strings of his guitar so much but he had no idea how she had noticed that._

_They went back to silence for a while. Beck had no idea why, but he felt so comfortable just sitting there with her. She was basically a stranger but surprisingly he found it incredibly easy to be with her. In the few seconds their hands touched they both felt something and ever since they found themselves craving each others touch again. They thought to themselves but didn't voice their mutual thought. How could something as insignificant as a hand touch create so many sparks?_

_'So why did you come here by yourself anyway?' Beck asked curiously._

_'I could ask you the same thing' Jade responded snappily. She noticed Beck's expression fall, as though he'd been reminded of something awful. It was the same look he had worn when she first saw him in the clearing. She noticed how beautiful his face was. Even though he was frowning there was something so honest about him and she couldn't help but want to be closer to him._

_'Whats wrong?' She asked softly, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically caring for someone she hardly knew._

_'You probably don't want to know.. it's kind of a downer' the fluffy haired boy said quietly_

_'Well.. i'm already down, I swear I won't tell anyone' Jade promised, watching Beck curiously. He was fiddling with the lace on his boot._

_'My Mums really sick. She has been for a while but recently its got so much worse and she's in hospital. But my parents won't tell me anything.. My Dad spends most of his time in the hospital and then when he comes home he says he's too tired to talk to me about it. I've only seen my Mum twice this month because they won't let me see her like this.' Beck was crying as he explained the situation and Jades heart broke for him. He sniffed and wiped his eyes away with his sleeve._

_'Beck.. I.. I'm so sorry' Jade stumbled, she had no idea what to say._

_'I just, came here to get away from it all you know? An escape?' Beck said, as his glassy eyes met her blue orbs._

_'Yeah I know what you mean' Jade admitted, running her fingers up and down the blades of her scissors thoughtfully. She checked the time on her phone, realising if she didn't get back home soon her father would notice she was gone and would ground her for leaving the house without permission._

_'Here, you can keep these.. I mean if you want. You should try cutting things up sometime.. it really does help' Jade offered quietly as she stood up to leave. Beck chuckled a little at the gesture and smiled back up at the not-so-scary-after-all girl as she placed the scissors in his lap._

_'Thanks.. I might do' He replied gratefully. 'Wait.. you never told me why you were here.'_

_'Same reason as you.. An escape' Jade said softly before turning swiftly, her long hair blowing behind her she ran as fast as she could from the clearing. Her head and heart completely overwhelmed with feelings she couldn't quite yet understand._

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**How would you guys feel about a sort of prequel to this story that focused more on the plot with Beck's Mum being ill and Beck and Jade beginnings?**


	6. Now I Know Why

**Two updates in one day because i'm a bad human for editing so much and taking so long to update.  
Huge changes have happened to this story so reread the previous chapters before this one.. or not. Its your choice :P  
**  
**Disclaimer : I dont own victorious **

* * *

Jade arrived home to yet another note from her parents. They were going to a retreat out of state. A final attempt at fixing their marriage. The date they would return - unconfirmed. Right now Jade couldn't care less if her parents divorced anymore. She just felt numb. She threw her bag on the floor, ran upstairs and locked herself in her bedroom, switching off all the lights. Wallowing in the lonely feeling of nothingness she climbed into bed. She could smell his cologne on her and she hugged her arms around herself breathing it in.

She didn't go to school the next day or the next, happy to stay in the comfort of her bed. She just couldn't face her friends, Anthony, Sikowitz... Beck. She hated herself for acting so weak but that was the problem.. she was weak. It wasn't normal to still feel like this 4 months after a break-up. But he left her, he hurt her and she rejected him.. so why couldn't she get him out of her head?

By Friday she had come to a completely new conclusion. She had fooled herself into believing that her life wasn't empty without him in it. But it was. He was the only person who she'd let know her completely and honestly he had let her know him too. She missed the person she was when she was with him and she missed him even more. It was her that pushed him away, twice. She pushed away everyone else in her life. As much as Jade wanted to, she couldn't bring herself to blame him for the break-up. Maybe she was just too difficult to love.

She didn't eat. She didn't even shower. She knew she was losing it but she didn't care, she didn't care about anything anymore. It wasn't like her to wallow in self pity like this.. in fact she was sure that if she could see herself she would tell herself to get a grip. But when she caught a glimpse at her reflection in the mirror all she could do was stare back at herself. Who was this person? How did she become the girl with the broken heart?

Jade found herself watching The Scissoring for the 6th time in 4 days. She knew every line, every scream, every facial expression of the characters off by heart. But she wasn't bored of it.. but how could she be when this movie made her feel so alive. It brought back memories that Jade could never grow tired of. The scissoring although a horrific, brutal film had been something her and Beck bonded over. Their first proper date was to the cinema when it was first released.. And for a whole year after that Jade insisted they rewatched the scissoring every few weeks. At first Beck objected and wanted to watch different movies.. but he too grew fond of it. They usually watched it in the RV together snuggled together, kissing, running their fingers through each others hair. Eventually.. Jade's obsession with the movie died down and instead the couple only watched the movie on their anniversaries. Weird how watching a horror movie was really the only romantic ritual they stuck to.

Suddenly the doorbell rang interrupting Jades thoughts. But she ignored it.. whoever it was could leave. But the doorbell rang again and again and eventually they began to tap at the window. Jade rolled her eyes and went to see who it could be that so desperately wanted to see her. She saw the red hair through the window and retreated but it was too late.. they had already seen her.

'Jadey, please let me in' Cat shouted. Jade didn't reply. She was really not in the mood for a heart to heart with Cat right now.

'I just wanna hang out with you' Cat pleaded in a sad voice making Jade felt guilty.. Cat did live on the complete other side of Hollywood so she had made a special effort to come this way.

'Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaassseee' Cat began to beg and Jade rolled her eyes as she finally unlocked the front door. Stood at the door was an extremely nervous looking Cat plus a determined looking Tori Vega, holding 3 boxes of pizza.

'You didn't tell me Vega was with you' Jade snapped, beginning to close the door on them.

'No wait!' Cat shouted 'We ordered Vegi Volcano with extra Jalapeños, your favourite.'

'I'm not hungry' Jade mumbled looking down glumly, but her stomach disagreed and inconveniently chose that exact moment to growl deprivedly.

'Yeah right.. Jade you look sick, when did you last eat?' Tori asked furrowing her eyebrows in concern.

'Why do you care?!' Jade yelled defensively causing Cat to squeak and hide behind Tori.

'Because we're your friends, come on just let us in' Tori remained calm, determined to get through to her. It took a while but eventually Jade stopped blocking the door and allowed the two girls inside. Cat disappeared inside the house quickly as she had been over many times before and knew exactly where Jade's kitchen was but Tori having never before been to the goths house stopped to take in her surroundings with eyes wide. The hall was seductive, beautiful and elegant with marble flooring and a grand staircase that spiraled the curvature of the walls. Even the smell of the hall was sensuous like arabian jasmine and oak. Tori only snapped out of her trance when her eyes fell to the resident of the house who was watching her suspiciously,

'Your house is beautiful' Tori admitted still rather in shock.

'Yeah well my parents are the leading interior designers in LA so it ought to be' Jade sighed disinterestedly.

'Where are your parents anyway?' Tori asked curiously and watched as the goth visibly stiffened before swiftly turning and walking away 'Who cares... are you just gonna stand in the hall or what?'

Tori shook her head and followed Jade into the shiny like-new kitchen where Cat was already putting the pizza on plates. The 3 girls took their plates into the living room and continued to watch The Scissoring from the point where Jade had left off. Tori watched as Jade picked miserably at her pizza and noted the purple circles under her already red eyes and she came to a decision, bravely standing up and switching off the tv.

'Hey!' Jade exclaimed, staring at Tori in absolute outcry.

'This has gone far enough' Tori announced 'What is going on Jade? You burst into tears during a performance and you haven't came to school since... and honestly it's obvious you haven't stopped crying since then. Beck is beside himself and you're ignoring all our messages! Why won't you just talk to us?' Tori exclaimed. Jades eyes began to glimmer with anger.

'Why would I? You all forced me into doing something I had made perfectly clear I didn't want to do.. You can't just call me pretending to care about me when you quite clearly don't!'

'Jade none of knew that what happened would happen.. you can't just ignore us forever' Tori defended.

'I'll do what I like!'

'But we miss you Jadey' Cat added in a panicked voice, making Jades glare soften just a little.

'Jade you can't just stay at home, by the looks of it hardly sleeping, starving yourself. Just talk to us' Tori cried

'Theres nothing to talk about'

'What happened on Tuesday; Why you won't sing or write anymore; Why you rejected Beck.. Come on Jade, there's lots to talk about'

'I can't!' Jade yelled, getting extremely irritated by this point

'Why can't you?'

'Because you don't understand!' Jade yelled 'None of you understand!'

'You can't just hide from your problems, come on Jade you're stronger than this.

'But it hurts!' Jade screamed, as she threw her plate onto the coffee table. Her face red with anger and Tori could see the fire behind her eyes. Tori wasn't actually surprised Jade exploded like this.. it had been a long time coming and she was relieved her friend was finally letting her feelings out.

'Hey, calm down ok? I'm sorry for pushing you but you need to talk to someone' Tori said soothingly as she sat down next to her friend, cautiously placing a hand on her back. Jade took a deep breath and closed her eyes trying to calm down.

'I never thought i'd need someone so fucking much but I just can't breathe without him' Jade mumbled roughly after a long period of silence. 'And no matter what I do every dumb little thing reminds me of him. And he's making me so fragile and I hate it! I can't feel like this anymore.'

'Feel like what Jade?'

'Lost, broken, alone.' Jade admitted quietly, looking down and tears forming in her eyes.

'Jade..' Tori said sadly as Cat came over to her other side, hugging her tightly 'How would you feel if I told you Beck is feeling exactly the same?' Jade looked away, sadness and pain contorting her face.

'See..' Tori exclaimed, 'He reacted exactly the same when I talked to him. You can't stand the thought of each other like this' Tori deducted triumphantly. Jade didn't deny it. She hated the thought that maybe she was putting Beck through the same thing she was feeling. It made no sense.

'Maybe being apart has done you both some good. You were arguing so much and neither of you appreciated the other. But lets face it, you're a mess, Beck is completely lost. Perhaps being apart has given you the time to realise how much you do actually need each other, why don't you just give him a chance.. hear him out'

'I used to write songs about him, like every day. I can't even listen to music anymore' Jade confessed, tears threatening to spill down her face.

'Well, lets see if we can fix that. Come on, eat your pizza then go get ready. We're going to the Full Moon Jam.' Tori clapped her hands together and Cat watched nervously as Jade thought carefully over everything, eventually she rolled her eyes and took a bite of her pizza. Tori and Cats faces lit up and the three girls conversations turned to much lighter topics.

Jade wasn't sure why she was listening to Tori but she suddenly wasn't in the mood for sitting home alone anymore and after eating half of her pizza, she showered, straightened her hair and dressed in something other than her lounge clothes for the first time in 3 days. Cat helped her do her make up and seemed almost hyper which Jade found slightly suspicious but she soon forgot about it and the three girls jumped into Cat's car heading for school.


	7. I Know We Can Make It

**I'm so sooo sorry! I hate me.. Gahh it turns out you actually have to do work at uni.. who knew right? Anyway this is extra long and I have already written chapter 8 so the wait for the next chapter shouldn't be as long as this one was! **

**LOL someone told me they can always tell my fanfiction because i over use '..' which doesn't even mean anything really.. Is it even legitimate punctuation? I'm not sure but I like it more than '...' **

**If you haven't heard the new one direction song 'story of my life' listen to it now! It's beautiful and thats why I chose to include it in this story. Even if you don't really like them I think this song is worth a listen to as it's so sweet. Disclaimer: I don't own 'story of my life' **

**Disclaimer: I don't own victorious.**

* * *

Jade was pleasantly surprised when she arrived at school with Tori and Cat that noone mentioned her dramatic break down. Noone gave her sympathetic looks and the younger students still seemed to fear her as much as they had before. It was as though it never happened and that in Jades eyes was the best outcome there could have been.

'Lets go sit with Robbie' Cat cried excitedly dragging both Jade and Tori along with her. Robbie waved when he caught sight of the three girls and motioned them towards the chairs and blankets he had saved for them in a corner in front of the stage. They sat around chatting for a few minutes before Andre appeared on the stage.

'Alright, thanks for coming everybody' Andre shouted, getting the audiences attention 'Tonights gonna be great, we're gonna hear some awesome music and see some great performances, so yeah enjoy! First up is Katy Mac.'

'Robbie, where's Beck?' Jade nudged the curly haired boy as everyone clapped the first singer on to the stage.

'Err he's coming soon' Robbie said almost sounding nervous. Jade frowned why was Robbie acting so wonky?

The gang watched as one by one Hollywood Arts students took to the stage, sang their hearts out and played their instruments. Everyone was so talented so the full moon jam was always a great night. There had been around 7 performances when Andre came back on the stage to AC.

'Ok I'll be helping out this next act so bare with me while I get my guitar. He's kinda nervous so go easy on him. Please give a warm welcome to my friend, Beck Oliver!' Andre announced and began clapping. The audience joined in applause as Beck took to the stage. Gripping his guitar tightly he took a seat on the stool in front of the mic and his eyes scanned the audience until they fell upon the one person he'd hoped to see.

'What is he doing?' Jade thought to herself. Beck never sang in public unless it was absolutely necessary for a role or something. She found herself staring at her ex-boyfriend completely bewildered. He was looking around at the audience but the second his deep brown eyes met her own he stopped and smiled slightly. Jade felt as though a mass of butterflies began to flutter in her stomach and she couldn't stop herself from giving a meek smile back.

'Hi' Beck said into the microphone almost shyly, the audience was still cheering loudly as everyone was shocked that Beck Oliver was about to sing lead vocals on something.

'I don't usually write songs; in fact I can't write songs, but someone who means the absolute world to me wrote me one.' Beck paused as the audience began to mumble quietly amongst themselves and a resounding 'awww' could be heard.

'And I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try to write one for her. I love her a lot.' The audience cheered again.

'Oh and she knows who she is' Beck finished with a smile and a glint in his eye as he caught sight of Jades wide eyes and speechless expression. Several people had turned around just to gage her reaction. She was trying to keep her expression emotionless but was failing badly and couldn't keep the mixture of shock and overwhelming love from her features.

Andre came over and took a seat on the school next to Beck. Beck counted them in and together they played the intro to the song on their guitars. Beck looked straight at Jade. He wanted her to know how much this meant to him and however nervous he was, he knew that this was his chance to prove how far he would go to turn things around.

_Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain_

_I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days_

_She told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones_

_It seems to me that when I die these words will be written on my stone_

_And I'll be gone gone tonight_

_The ground beneath my feet is open wide_

_The way that I been holdin' on too tight_

_With nothing in between_

_The story of my life I take her home_

_I drive all night to keep her warm and time is frozen_

_The story of my life I give her hope_

_I spend her love until she's broke inside_

_The story of my life._

The audience was completely silent as they listened intently to the soft tones of Beck's voice and Andre's harmonies. Jade couldn't stop smiling and she tried to hide her face with her hands but Cat came up behind her and pulled her hands away from her face forcing her to smile stupidly at the boy who had and always would have her heart.

_Written on these walls are the colours that I can't change_

_Leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage_

_And I'll be gone gone tonight_

_The fire beneath my feet is burning bright_

_The way that I been holdin' on so tight_

_With nothing in between_

_The story of my life I take her home_

_I drive all night to keep her warm and time is frozen_

_The story of my life I give her hope_

_I spend her love until she's broke inside_

_The story of my life_

_And I've been waiting for this time to come around_

_But baby running after you is like chasing the clouds_

Suddenly Jade stood up. Tori, Cat and Robbie gave her a questioning look but before they had the chance to say anything she walked away from the stage area and out of their sight. Beck watched her leave and felt so unbelievably disappointed Was she really just going to walk away from him?

_The story of my life I take her home_

_I drive all night to keep her warm and time is frozen_

_The story of my life I give her hope  
I spend her love until she's broke inside _

_The story of my life _

_The story of my life_

The audience erupted in cheers and the two teenagers got a standing ovation. Beck smiled but turned and shook his head slightly at Andre. His plan hadn't worked; Jade had left. Andre patted Beck on the back apologetically and congratulated him regardless. It really was a great song, Beck had put everything into it.

The tanned teenager made his way backstage. He was so disheartened. But he knew even if he had to write her 100 songs he would keep going. He wanted her back bad. Feeling determined Beck pulled open the door of the dressing room and stepped inside. It was in the next few seconds he realised his wish had come true. The girl he most wanted to see was stood in the centre of the room, a beautiful smile spread across her face and she looked more breath taking than ever.

'That.. was the cheesiest thing you've ever done' Jade smirked and Beck couldn't help but grin back.

'It's true though, I meant every word' Beck admitted, taking a couple of steps closer to the pale beauty. Jade rolled her eyes but her smile only grew wider and she too stepped closer to the fluffy haired boy. His hands wrapped around her waist pulling their bodies tighter together. Slowly and cautiously they leaned in until their lips collided, slow and soft at first but intensifying rapidly as their reunited lips couldn't get enough of each other.

Suddenly a loud 'awwwwh' interrupted them and they broke apart. Beck pulled open the dressing room door and their friends were stood there with their hands covering Tori's mouth in an attempt to silence her but everyone was smiling at them cheesily. Jade and Beck looked at their friends exasperatedly with raised eyebrows until Andre finally spoke up.

'Yeaah, we'll just go now.. leave you guys to it.. have fun making up.' Andre stammered.

Beck shook his head in mock annoyance as he shut the door on their friends and went back to Jade.

'So.. will you be my girlfriend again?' Beck asked hopefully, running a hand through his thick hair. His heart was pounding as he awaited her response. Jade sat down on one of the make-up chairs and appeared to be in deep thought. She looked at their reflections in the mirror and tried to put aside the hurt she'd felt these past few months but she just couldn't.

'Lets just take this one day at a time Oliver' Jade gave a small smile and Beck nodded knowing that having her a little bit was better than not having her in his life at all. At least for now, they could be friends and just see how it goes.

'Whatever it takes West' Beck grinned. Jade looked down trying to hide her smile but before she even realised what was happening Beck had swept her of her feet and pulled her into a hug. She felt so right and complete again.

'I missed you' Beck's whispered, his lips against Jades ear and his warm breath tickling the side of her neck. Jade smiled and squeezed him a little tighter. There just weren't strong enough words to describe how Jade had been feeling about Beck recently, it was like she was injured and he was her only medicine. The reunited pair eventually went and joined the rest of their friends in watching the remainder of the full moon jam. Snuggled on a blanket Jade sat between Beck's legs and he wrapped his hands around her waist. It felt like a dream and they just hoped nobody ever woke them up./

* * *

Beck and Jade didn't see each other at the weekend because Beck was busy but they texted a lot. When Beck's car pulled up outside her house at 8am on Monday morning Jade jumped in the passenger seat and they both just smiled at each other, feeling nostalgic. Arriving at school it felt like everyone was watching them and walking side by side down the hall they got a lot of attention from their fellow students.

'Is it just me or is everyone staring?' Beck said uncomfortably as they stopped outside Jades scissor covered locker. Jade looked around and shrugged.

'I don't even care' Jade replied, smiling and squeezing Beck's hand comfortingly. Sure everyone wanted to know what was going on with them but it was really none of their business. People were probably wondering why they hadn't changed their relationship statuses on 'The Slap.' But they weren't back together; they just weren't denying their feelings for each other anymore. Jade grabbed her books from her locker and turned around but saw Beck frowning at his phone.

'You ok?' Jade asked concernedly.

'Oh yeah, fine' Beck jumped and stuffed his phone into his pocket. Jade raised an eyebrow and made a note to ask him about it later but they were going to be late for Sikowitz class. When they arrived everyone was already sat down, they pulled two chairs together and sat at the back of the room. Cat clapped and said 'yay' quietly and Tori couldn't stop smiling, happy to see them close again. Beck and Jade glanced at each other wondering how long people would be acting like this around them for.

Beck was late to lunch. The whole gang was already eating when he came and sat down next to Jade. Noone else seemed to notice but Jade could tell something was troubling him.. she could sense it and when she caught him glancing at his text messages again she grabbed his hand under the table and pressed her thumb three times into his palm. That was kind of their secret way of asking if the other was ok, it felt weird to be doing it again after so long but Jade felt it was necessary. Beck didn't respond for a while and it was starting to make Jade anxious.. he wasn't regretted giving their relationship another try already was he? But after a couple of minutes she felt him pressing his thumb against her palm just once, which meant that he was ok.

* * *

Two weeks later and everyone was used to the new Beck and Jade. Their friends knew they weren't exactly back together or wholly single but they knew not to ask too many questions. The rest of the student body had speculated for a while but they'd soon grown tired and just decided to leave the couple to do whatever they want. The whole gang was stood outside Tori's locker that morning. Cat had a huge trophy that she had won in a tap dancing competition and she was so giddy and proud.

'Hey speaking of dance.. I wanted to ask you something.' Beck said pulling Jade to the side. Jade raised her eyebrow suspiciously, wondering what he was talking about.

'Will you be my salsa partner again?' Beck grinned.

'God yes! I HATED being partners with that Brad guy, he can't lead at all!' Jade exclaimed frowning. Beck laughed.

'Well you do try and take the lead' he pointed out

'Only because he is so bad! If I'd let him lead we would have both got D's'

'Haha so you're saying that i'm a good leader?' Beck smirked as Jade pouted not wanting to admit he was a good dancer. Before the break-up they had been the best dance partners in their class. Beck had been doing salsa for years and he knew he was good and Jade had been so comfortable with him that everything just came so naturally. When they broke up, Jade had asked their teacher if they could have new partners.

'No.' Jade glared at his cocky smile before adding quietly 'You could use a bit of practice.'

'Oh yeah?' Beck's eyes glimmered mischievously as he placed his hand on the small of her back and swiftly pulled her thigh up so it was wrapped around his waist. He smiled at Jades shocked little squeal and Jade gasped as she found herself pressed right up against him. Her lips tingled feeling his warmth of his breath on her mouth and they stared into each others eyes lustfully.

*cough cough* Andre suddenly cleared his throat and they realised that their whole group of friends and several other students had their eyes on them. Beck carefully put Jade down and they thought they'd better not touch each other for a while if they wanted to carry on taking things slow.

'Jade we have songwriting now.. Are you coming?' Tori asked nervously. Jade glanced at Beck who smiled at her encouragingly and Jade nodded, following Tori, Andre and Cat to their songwriting class.

It felt kind of weird being back because everyone in this class had witnessed what happened a few weeks ago. Jade sat down in her usual seat and resumed doing nothing. She might have sorted out things with Beck and she definitely felt less broken but she wasn't ready to write again.

When Anthony arrived he seemed surprised to see Jade but smiled at her gratefully for coming. He spent around 15 minutes lecturing the class on bridges before everyone continued with their own works and as soon as everyone was busy he approached the dark haired girl.

'Hi Jade, it's nice to see you in class again' Anthony began. Jade blinked unsure what she was supposed to say to that.

'I owe you an apology for what happened at the middle school showcase' Anthony regretted sincerely, 'Music can be a very personal thing and I shouldn't have pressured you into singing that song'

'Its okay. I mean it hurt but It kind of needed to happen' Jade admitted, not looking up from the doodles she was drawing in her notebook.

'And i'm not going to pressure you into writing if you aren't comfortable, you can submit old songs for your coursework if you want.. some are certainly good enough for the advanced class'

'Thank you' Jade said genuinely looking up to face her teacher 'And I think i'll be ready to write again soon'

Anthony smiled admiring her doodling before leaving her to help Cat with one of her unusual songs. This was one of the main reasons Jade loved Hollywood Arts, the teachers genuinely care about you and only want the best for you. Jade carried on drawing until the end of the class and smiled feeling like things were finally coming together again.

* * *

The next day Beck wasn't in school. He texted Jade this morning to tell her he couldn't pick her up today but she hadn't heard from him since and he didn't reply to her text asking what the reason was. The day dragged on and nothing particularly exciting happened. At the end of the day Jade was stood next to her car in the car park at school, she checked her phone again and to her dismay she still had nothing from Beck.

'You alright?' Tori approached Jade noticing the concerned look on her face.

'Yeah fine, Beck's just not texted me back all day' Jade replied slipping her phone back into her pocket.

'Maybe his phones switched off or something' Tori suggested. Jade shrugged knowing that was unlikely but didn't want to dwell on it any longer.

'Hey.. are you doing anything after school?' Tori asked

'No I was just gonna go home probably'

'Do you want to hang out? We have that science homework we could start or just watch a movie?' Tori offered nervously. She was still never sure where she stood with Jade on the 'friend' front but to her surprise Jade smiled and nodded.

'Yeah you can come to mine, my parents are still away so we can do what we want' Jade suggested. Tori grinned and climbed after Jade in to the shiny black car.

When they got to Jades, they made snacks and then decided they would actually start the Science. Science was neither of their strong points so struggling through it together would be better than attempting to do it alone.

'So whats going on with you and Beck? Tori slipped into the conversation sneakily. Jade stopped what she was writing and raised an eyebrow at Tori who blinked innocently.

'We're friends' Jade confirmed.

'Yeah "friends" Tori mocked 'Friends who hold hands and kiss and flirt all day!' Tori smirked when she saw Jade smile slightly as she pretended to concentrate hard on the science problem she was currently solving. Just then Jades phone rang. She reached for it quickly hoping it was Beck but frowned when she saw it was Andre.

'Hey' Jade answered her phone stoically. At first she didn't seem to be paying attention but after a few seconds Tori noticed Jades facial expression change and she dropped her pen.

'What?!' Jade gasped, her face paling and her expression grave. Tori frowned at her friend and gave her a questioning look but Jade didn't seem to notice.

'Oh my god' Jade said lowly, her voice sounding broken and Tori realised, whatever Andre was telling her was really, really bad.

* * *

**Cliffhanger... I'm so sorry.. I know.. I hate me too.**

I actually wrote Chapter 8 before I wrote this one so it's ready and waiting for you. I'd really like to get 15 reviews though so I'll upload as soon as I get that. Till next time! xx


	8. The Situation Turned Around

**Ahh you guys are the best readers ever! I've never had so many reviews for a chapter in my life! Thank you so much here is your update as promised:) ooh also some of you asked for my twitter its livi27x if any of you want to follow me :D i'm not very exciting on it but i'll follow you all back, i mostly just fangirl over victorious and avan/liz/ariana haha.**

**Warning.. I think this chapter is really sad or at least it should be if I wrote it right. Let me know what you think. It begins directly after the last chapter continuing with Jade and Andre's phone conversation.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious**

* * *

'Just don't leave him' Jade whispered, tears filling her eyes as she hung up and fled to the front door. Tori had no idea what was going on but quickly ran after her gothic friend who was searching her bag for her keys frantically.

'Whats going on?' Tori asked in confusion, Jade didn't give an answer.

'Get in the car or get out of my way' Jade said warningly.

Jade already had her seatbelt on by the time Tori nervously sat down in the passengers seat. Her heart was pumping fast as she watched her friend anxiously hurrying to get the key in the ignition. She had absolutely no idea what was going on but she knew now was not a good time to demand an explanation as Jade sped slightly to get to wherever they were going. They were only driving for 10 minutes before Tori to figured out where they were heading; there was only 1 person in their group of friends who lived this end of town and Jade drove automatically as if she'd driven this route a million times.

They arrived but to Tori's surprise Jade didn't get out straight away. Her blue eyes were wide as she took in the scene occurring in her ex-boyfriends yard. An ambulance was parked on the driveway next to the RV. A couple of the neighbours were standing in their front gardens looking grim and pitiful and the front door to the house was wide open. Several people in suits and some paramedics were leaving and a woman that Tori didn't recognise was crying as she showed them out.

'Jade..?' Tori said nervously unable to believe what was going on before her eyes. Jade seemed to snap out of whatever shock she was in when Tori spoke and she quickly climbed out of the car. Tori had to run slightly to keep up as Jade hastily approached the house. The woman stood at the door recognised Jade and pulled the teenager into a hug the second she reached the door. She had dark brown hair and tanned skin and a similar look to Beck.

'Oh Jade, thank God you're here' The woman exhaled.

'I'm so sorry Laura' Jade said sorrowfully.

'I know sweetie, we all are.' Laura stroked Jades hair as tears flowed from both their eyes. 'But we knew this was going to happen, it's not like it was unexpected'

'What do you mean?' Jade pulled out of Laura's arms and looked into the older woman's face in shock.

'We knew she was dying sweetie' Laura said sympathetically.

'What?!' Jade gasped, shaking her head in disbelief.

'She was diagnosed terminal 4 months ago, didn't Beck tell you?' Laura seemed shocked.

'No he didn't' Jade sobbed. A huge wave of guilt hitting her as she thought back to when exactly that was - the breakup.

'Why didn't he tell me his Mum was dying?' Jade cried, hurt evident in her voice. Tori's suspicions were finally confirmed and her palm flew to her mouth in shock. She knew that Beck's Mother had a lot of health problems but Beck rarely talked about that. Now Tori thought about it Beck had been acting different for months. They all just thought it was because of the break-up but then some of his behaviour hadn't quite make sense at the time. Tori put an arm around her friends shoulders who was distraught by the recent revelations.

'Oh god, I feel sick.' Jade whimpered, her palms shaking as she wiped tears away from her eyes.

'Beck needs you right now, ok?' Laura told Jade holding her hands firmly 'I'm so sorry this came as such a shock, but you have to be strong for him' Jade nodded and took in a deep breath.

'How is he?' Jade asked in a small voice.

'I really don't know' Laura replied looking back into the house 'He's been so quiet. He's keeping it together for now, but I'm not sure that's healthy. Whereas John's just a mess, noone can get him to come out of their bedroom'

'Can I go see Beck?' Jade asked, her robust demeanor finally returning.

'Of course sweetie, I think you're probably the best person he could be around right now' Laura said sincerely.

* * *

Tori followed Jade into the house and up the stairs. She had never been inside Beck's house before as he was always in the RV when she came over. Despite the grim atmosphere, the house was cozy and very homely. There were picture frames everywhere filled with wedding photographs, photographs of Beck as a child, holiday pictures. There were even a couple of photographs of Beck and Jade together. One that pulled at her heartstrings though was the family portrait at the top of the stairs. There were three photos in the frame. In the first one Beck was only a baby and his Father held him whilst his Mother hugged them both from the side. They looked so young and happy. In the second, Beck must have only been about 7 years old and he sat on his mothers knee smiling toothlessly. His father had his arms wrapped around them both and looked so proud. The third could have been taken this year, Beck stood between his parents with his arms around them both. It was so sad to think that they wouldn't have any more photos like that.

Jade appeared to hesitate as she reached one of the doors upstairs, as though she was unsure whether she should knock or not. Eventually she decided against it and slowly pushed open the door into Beck's bedroom. They stepped in and Tori immediately saw Andre who was sat on the computer chair looking solemn albeit slightly relieved to see the girls. Beck however didn't even acknowledge that anyone had came in the room. He sat upright on his bed and looked numb, just staring blankly at the wall.

Beck didn't even react when Jade sat next to him on the bed. She took his hand into her own and gripped it tightly. His breathing was shallow but he just continued to stare at the wall disconnectedly. It was heartbreaking to see him like this.

'Baby?' Jade said softly, repositioning herself slightly so she could look directly into his eyes. She placed her free hand over his heart and felt the rhythm of its beat. His breathing became staggered and Jade could tell he was concentrating so hard on not crying. Suddenly the tears he'd been holding back all day filled his eyes and as if all at once, he broke.

The cries that followed were wretched. His sobs distressed, full of grief and he was inconsolable. Jade held him tightly, laying his head on her chest as he bawled. She let him cry and stroked his hair comfortingly. She didn't weaken her hold on him for a second because she wanted him to know he wasn't alone. Andre and Tori both had tears in their eyes watching helplessly as their usually reserved friend completely broke down. Jade kept looking away and taking deep breaths to try and hold it together for Beck, but just seeing him in this intense grief was agony for her and it wasn't long until tears were rolling down her cheeks too.

Beck didn't stop crying for 2 hours straight. At some point Tori and Andre left the room, Jade wasn't sure if it got too much for them or if they just wanted to give them some privacy but she didn't really care. She knew Beck needed to let this out and she would be there for him no matter how painful that would be. When his cries finally subsided, he fell asleep in her arms. Jade pulled the covers over them both and snuggled up to his body, wrapping her arms around him and just lay there. Everything seemed so surreal. She couldn't believe Beck's Mum was gone.

* * *

Andre and Tori stayed in the room for almost an hour but since Beck didn't seem to be calming down any time soon they quietly let themselves out, feeling like it was too much a private moment and they weren't doing any good by watching it. Andre closed the bedroom door quietly behind them and turned to face Tori who was still crying a little and pulled her close for a long, silent hug. It was just horrible that this had happened, noone deserved this.

'You alright?' Andre asked Tori softly.

'Yeah I guess' Tori sniffed, 'It's just so sad'

'I know, but all we can do is be there for him if he needs us. I'm just glad that Jade and him made up, I don't know how he would have coped without her here' Andre confessed.

'Honestly, I think she would have been here no matter what.' Tori pointed out 'But Andre, how did you end up here in the first place? Did you know?'

'No I didn't know. I was dropping off Beck's homework that he'd missed from school today and it was awful, it was right after it just happened. I stayed downstairs for a long time whilst Beck and Laura tried to calm down Beck's Dad who was having a panic attack or something.' Andre swallowed back tears as he retold the event, 'The ambulance came and then some guys came and took away the body. Laura asked me if I could sit with Beck in his room so he wouldn't be alone but when I got there he was just completely shut down. He didn't cry or get angry or anything until Jade arrived.'

'I just can't believe he didn't tell us' Tori said seriously.

'I can't believe he didn't tell Jade'

The two teenagers stopped talking at the sound of footsteps approaching them, they turned around and realised it was Laura.

'I know this is under awful circumstances but would you like to come downstairs for some dinner? It's past 7o'clock.' Laura whispered to the pair. They glanced at each other, both agreeing and followed Laura downstairs into the kitchen.

'Sorry I didn't really introduce myself before, it's been well.. a difficult day. I'm Beck's Aunt, his fathers sister. I've been staying here for the past few weeks, just helping organise things' Laura explained as she served the food. 'I've met you before Andre, what's your name sweetie?'

'Tori' the brunette replied with a small smile, accepting the bowl of chili that Laura handed her.

'Oh so you're Tori.. I've heard your name in passing quite a few times' Laura raised her eyebrows slightly knowingly, as she handed Andre a bowl.

'Yeah I bet' Tori mumbled quietly, hoping Laura didn't have some kind of negative opinion of her from Jade; but Laura seemed too nice to be like that.

'Thank you both for coming today' Laura continued, 'Most of the family live up in Canada so they can't get here until tomorrow at the earliest. I'm just glad the guys aren't by themselves.' Tori and Andre nodded unsure what they should say.

'I could hear Beck from down here before, should I be worried that he seems to have quietened down?' Laura frowned a little and looked anxiously towards the staircase.

'Jade's got him, he'll be alright' Tori reassured her and Laura nodded. The three of them continued to eat dinner. They tried to make conversation for a while but the atmosphere was solemn and they soon ran out of small talk.

Around 8'oclock Beck's Dad John came downstairs and Laura gave her older brother a long hug. His eyes were red and he looked extremely tired but accepted the meal his sister had made before beginning to discuss the funeral arrangements. Tori couldn't believe how fast things like this happened. The funeral was scheduled to be in exactly a weeks time and Laura had already managed to let all their close friends and family know about it. I guess when you already know someones going to die you can prepare for things like this.

John didn't stay long and went back to his bedroom fairly soon after he had came downstairs. Andre and Tori decided it was by far time they left and Andre offered to drive Tori home. They each gave Laura their mobile numbers just in case she needed anything and told her to tell Beck and Jade the same. Laura hugged them both before seeing them out and thanked them again for coming over.

As soon as Tori and Andre left. Laura filled two more bowls of chili and placed some salad on a plate, taking a tray up to Beck's bedroom. She knocked lightly on the door but received no reply so slowly pushed the door open. Her eyes instantly fell to the pair and her heart warmed slightly at the sight of them fast asleep. Placing the tray of food on the desk, Laura crouched down next to the bed and stroked the side of her Nephews hair. He had tear stained cheeks and even in his sleep his facial expression was ridden with grief but Jade had her arms wrapped around him protectively using his chest as a pillow. They were both still wearing their clothes from today and Jades eye makeup was smudged but Laura couldn't bare to wake them. She kissed Beck on the forehead before quietly closing the door behind the two sleeping teenagers and hoped that tomorrow might be a less heartbreaking day for everyone.

* * *

**:(**


	9. Nowhere To Hide I Don't Know Why

**Hi everyone.. ****I hope you like Chapter 9. Its looooooooooong and it has highs and lows.. I tried to make Beck's emotions and behaviour as realistic as possible so he's not really gonna be himself for a while and I guess Jade takes on another role in this too. Ahh i'm worried xD Let me know how I did pretty please xx**

**Disclaimer: I don't own victorious.**

* * *

The day of the funeral came around quickly. Jade woke up early that day, so early that it was still dark outside and it took her a moment to realise where she was. She had spent every night the past week at Becks and it felt so cold not waking up in his arms again. Never in her life had she seen him so fragile and she felt uncomfortable leaving him in his house that was filled to the brim with family members who just seemed to be overwhelming him right now. She just wanted to hold him in her arms constantly and protect him from anything else that could hurt him.

Jade remembered the morning after Danielle Oliver's death so clearly. It was the first time in months that she'd woken up next to Beck and it had felt so familiar and yet completely unfamiliar at the same time. She was only awake a few minutes before Beck too began to stir. His eyelashes began to flutter a little as he slowly came around and Jade braced herself for the worst. She thought she saw a flicker of pain contort his face as he remembered, but after taking a couple of deep breaths he stopped looking sad and another emotion came to his face.. worry. Jade was confused why he seemed so anxious but it all became clear as he spoke, and the words he said really broke Jades heart.

_'I'm so sorry' Beck croaked, covering his eyes with his hands._

_'What for?' Jade frowned confused._

_'Last night, I was a wreck, I'm sorry you had to deal with m..'_

_'Don't you ever apologise for that!' Jade interrupted him, her eyes wide with shock as she pulled his hands away from his face. He looked up into her eyes but __didn't know what to say. He held her hand tight and just let her hug him because God he needed it._

Looking back she thought maybe she should have expected it. Beck had always found it difficult to deal with emotions and apologised if he showed his true feelings. He expected himself to be a rock and he almost always withdrew and pretended everything was fine. For most of the week he did that and to a lot of people he just seemed like normal Beck. Jade had lost count of the amount of times she'd overheard him being told _he was being so strong,_ but if you looked properly you would see that he was often on the brink of tears. And then when he was safely away from everyone, it would all come spilling out in a painful, angry, devastated mess.

Jade tossed and turned in bed trying to get at least a couple more hours sleep but she soon realised that wasn't going to happen. Everything was swirling around in her brain so instead she climbed out of bed and began to get ready for what would no doubt be another difficult day. All their friends would be attending the funeral and for once Jade was glad they would be around because Beck really needed their support right now. Neither Beck nor Jade had seen any of them since the day it happened as they hadn't gone back to school. But Jade had kept Andre and Tori up to date with regular texts and even encouraged them to keep texting Beck.

Jade got in the shower and washed her hair. And before she changed into a simple black dress she grabbed her phone and texted Laura to see how Beck was holding up.. She got a reply a few minutes later and sighed as she read it.

'Pretending everything's fine as usual.'

* * *

_'Beck?' Jade looked up into his eyes debating whether or not to ask this question. It had been eating her inside for days and she just needed to know for sure. Jade and Beck were sat in the backyard and it was almost 9pm and cold but here was really the only place in the house they could go to be alone. All Beck's family were staying there and Beck had moved out of the RV and into his bedroom when Laura had arrived so she would have somewhere to stay that was still slightly separate from the house. Beck looked into Jades eyes nervously, he could sense what she was about to ask him but he wasn't sure he was ready to answer this question._

_'When- did you find out?'_

_Beck sighed and looked away. Jades heart began to thump wondering if she'd pushed too far, too soon. It was only 4 days since his Mum had died._

_'I found out-' Beck started but shook his head unable to finish his sentence._

_'It's ok.. you don't have to tell me right now' Jade whispered rubbing her hand up and down his arm. The memory was painful for him. It had been a dark, dark day. He remembered his parents asking to speak with him in the living room and he remembered seeing the tears in his Mum's eyes as they told him it was back and that there was nothing they could do this time. Jade deserved to know. She'd deserved to know from the start but somehow every time he'd tried to talk to her he just couldn't get it out and he was so angry and everything got out of hand and before he knew it.. he didn't even have her anymore._

_'About 2 days before the stupid queries for couples thing' Beck whispered barely audibly, closing his eyes, the memory torturing him._

_'Oh Beck' Jade snuggled her face into the crook of his neck and held him tightly against her whilst he got himself back under control. That was the answer she had been afraid of. That week he had been snappier, angrier at her and she had not taken it well. She should have known something was wrong for him to act so uncharacteristic but no she was selfish and indulged in the argument. The guilt sickened her and she wished she'd handled things differently._

_'Sorry, i'm trying to be strong for you but I just..' Jade said wiping her eyes on her sleeve._

_'Hey.. I thought we said no apologising.' Beck croaked wrapping his arm tighter around her. He turned his head and kissed the top of her head tenderly. As hard as it was he managed to catch her eyes and give her a weak smile and Jade pressed her hand against his cheek and caressed him. They didn't need to say anything else about it, at least for now._

* * *

Jade drove herself to the church. She could already see a lot of people dressed in black gathering at the front and she began to feel nervous. She hated everything about funerals. They were just uncomfortable and painful and depressing. But she knew this one was different. Climbing out of the car Jade spotted Tori, Robbie and Cat standing in a small group at the side of the car park. They waved unsurely to her and gave almost sympathetic smiles as she walked over to stand with them her face solemn. Jade could already feel a lump rising in her throat. It just felt wrong to see Cat dressed so dark.

'Are you ok Jadey?' Cat asked in a quiet concerned voice. Jade nodded and faced the other way hoping they wouldn't ask her too many questions right now as the nerves kept on building. Tori held onto Cat's hand as the four teenagers headed together towards the entrance of the church.

There were tons of people there. Andre was there with his parents and there were a few of the other parents of kids at Hollywood Arts. There were many of Danielle's colleagues and friend and then of course members of Beck's huge extended family. Jade recognised a few of them from the house although none of them seemed to acknowledge her. Jade didn't try to pretend that any of them liked her anyway.

_The day that the family arrived had been a tough day. Beck had been quiet all morning and he disappeared promptly after breakfast, saying he was going for a walk - but he'd been gone almost six hours. Laura tried to keep Jade distracted, getting her to help prepare dinner and giving her other small tasks but she kept zoning out, becoming increasingly worried as Beck didn't show any signs of return._

_'He just needs some time to himself, he'll be alright' Laura reassured the goth who was peering anxiously out the window for what felt like the hundredth time. Whilst he'd been gone, around 16 relatives had arrived and they were all gathering in the living room. They didn't really interact with Jade and a couple of his Great Aunts even shot her disapproving looks, probably because of her coloured streaks, tattoos and piercings. Jade felt increasingly like she shouldn't be there; what right did she have to be there anyway? Who was she? Beck's Girlfriend.. Friend.. Ex-Girlfriend? She was none of those people._

_She was sitting alone in Beck's bedroom when she finally heard the sound of a key turning in the front door and the familiar thud of Beck's boots. She quickly made her way downstairs to the living room just in time to see Beck inundated with family members hugging him and offering their condolences. He looked completely lost and childlike, overwhelmed as each person repeated the same things._

_"I can't imagine what you're going through"_

_"You're being so strong"_

_"I'm so sorry for your loss"_

_He had said nothing and looked like he was ready to break when thankfully Laura realised what was happening and managed to pull him out of there before he lost it in front of everyone. Jade followed him into the kitchen but froze as she watched Beck repeatedly punch the wall __furiously_.

_'Beck stop' Jade gasped, quickly stepping in front of him and grabbing his fists as he panted trying to catch his breath. Tears were streaming down his face and Laura locked the door to keep everyone out, shocked by his angry outburst._

_'Stop' Jade repeated softly. A few seconds later and he was leaning his head on her shoulder sobbing as Jade wrapped her arms around him, stroking her hand up and down his back. __She hadn't wanted it to happen like this but she'd been expecting it and talking to him about it helped.. He just missed her. _

* * *

Beck's father and Laura were stood at the door of the church with the vicar and welcoming in the guests. As soon as Laura caught sight of the raven haired teenager she whispered something to John and walked over to the younger girl with her arms wide. Laura had always been Jades favourite member of Beck's Family but they had become even closer after this week. Tori, Robbie and Cat made their way into the church as Jade closed her eyes accepting the embrace.

'Thank you baby girl' Laura whispered softly. Jade didn't know why she was thanking her but the nerves began to fade a little as the older woman softly stroked her hair.

'Hey' Beck said numbly walking over to them. He was wearing a black suit and his hair was all straight and tidy, he didn't look like himself at all. Jade could tell he'd been crying from the croak in his throat and the glassiness of his eyes, but she was relieved to see he was holding up for the moment.

'You alright sweetie?' Laura asked him sympathetically, letting go of Jade. Beck nodded making his way over to Jade and taking hold of her hand.

'I'll see you both inside' Laura told them as she headed back inside the church, leaving them to have a moment alone. Beck pulled Jade over to the side where no one was around. Jade observed his face carefully, he seemed unable to hide the range of emotions he was going through right now, a mixture of sadness, anger, frightment and nerves.

'Would you stay with me?' Beck whispered, his hand shaking as he ran it through his hair, 'I don't think I can do this.'

'I don't think your family will want me at the front baby' Jade took his shaking hand from him and began to rub small circles on his palm. Jades heart sunk seeing how crushed he looked.

'Please'

'Beck..' Jade sighed. 'Your Dad will be with you, Laura will be with..' Jade trailed off as she looked into his eyes, seeing how much pain he was already in and she just knew she couldn't do that to him.

'Ok' she agreed and quickly Beck took hold of her hand, not wanting her to change her mind and lead her into the church.

It was a slightly unusual service. The casket was already at the front of the church and most of the guests were already seated by this point. When Beck and Jade walked down the aisle, a lot of people turned around and made pitying noises or gave meek smiles to Beck who kept his eyes on the front. Jade spotted their friends in the back. Tori and Robbie were sat either side of Cat and they watched the couple with a sad look in their eyes. Jade pressed her thumb three times into Beck's palm and he immediately pressed back once and then reciprocated the action, Jade pressed her thumb back once. Beck led her to the front and Laura who was already sat down stood up to kiss her cheek before turning and giving Beck a hug.

The ceremony wasn't long but somehow it was just enough. John and Laura sat at the front and Beck next to them with Jade at his side. She tried to ignore the couple of scoffs of some of Beck's older relatives because if Beck needed her here, this was where she was going to be and they were just going to have to deal with that. Beck was going strong until his Father stood up to read the speech that they had prepared together a few nights ago. He couldn't help but lean against Jade and cry and he listened to the memories of which there would be no more. Jade held him up as Laura rubbed his back but he was at his lowest. As soon as John finished his speech he walked straight over to Beck and peeling him off Jade he hugged him tight. The church was silent and it seemed like everyone had tears in their eyes as John held his son, the two men completely heart broken. For the rest of the service Beck held on to Jades hand tightly. His fingernails dug into her palm a few times but Jade didn't mind. In a strange way it was reassuring. He was still there and not shutting everything out like he'd been known to do.

After the short walk to the cemetery at the back of the church they had their final moments with Danielle. Beck hadn't said a thing throughout the service so Jade was surprised when right at the end he spoke quietly.

'I wasn't ready for you to go Mum.. but I'll be ok.'

Jade looked up into his teary eyes and hugged him close to her. Make You Feel My Love by Adele was played as they lowered the casket in the ground and Beck said goodbye to his Mother.

* * *

'Lets get out of here.' Beck approached Jade who was sitting with Cat, Andre, Robbie and Tori at the funeral reception. They'd decided to sit apart at the reception as Beck went around talking to various friends and family and Jade had worried about him a little. But when he came back, for the first time all week he didn't look on the verge of tears.

'You sure?' Jade asked surprised, wondering if it was really ok for them to go.

'Yeah it's fine I asked my Dad, everyones starting to leave anyway.' Beck insisted. Jade narrowed her eyes looking at him suspiciously.

'Come on you' Beck rolled his eyes jokingly. Wrapping his arms around her from behind he began to peck her cheek lightly with little playful kisses.

'Ew' Jade acted disgusted. Beck smiled at her, a real smile and Jade felt her heart flutter a little and her cheeks blushing from the affect he had on her.

'You're such a weirdo' Jade said with a serious expression, pretending he didn't just melt her heart. Tori smiled watching them interact. They hadn't been this comfortable with each other around the gang in a really long time.

'Uh huh' Beck smirked, grabbing her hand and pulling her up. The friends said goodbye and Beck thanked them all for coming. He even laughed when Andre joked about his hair being all tidy. Jade then ruffled it all up for him and he grinned before Andre gave him a manly shoulder pat. Everyone seemed relieved to see Beck genuinely smiling again and Cat hugged him for ages, it took them ages to pry her away only managing to remove her with the promise of bibble. Hand in hand, Beck and Jade made their way to Jades car. Beck climbed in the driving seat which had Jade questioning if he was was well because usually he made a huge fuss refusing to drive her car, but today he insisted. Still in their formal wear Jade questioned where he was taking them, but Beck just smiled refusing to answer the question.

Beck pulled up outside the park ten minutes later and Jade instantly knew where they were going. She took Beck's hand as they walked silently towards the clearing where they had first met. They had already spent so much time there, just letting out their feelings and talking all night. Crawling through the opening they lay next to each other on the soft grass and looked up at the fluffy white clouds that scattered the sky.

'Why did you want to come here?' Jade asked, turning to look at Beck.

'I don't know really. I wanted to get away from today for a little bit' Jade nodded and leaned closer to Beck as she listened to him.

'I'm still sad, I think I will be for a while' Beck continued, ' Until today I didn't think it could ever get better; But I realised my Mum wouldn't want me to be sad forever'

'No she wouldn't' Jade agreed.

The two of them didn't speak for a while just taking in the background noise of the park. The rustling of the leaves, the screams of the children in the playground and the occasional swooshing sound of cars that zoomed along the road in the far distance.

'Thank you' Beck said eventually breaking the silence.

'What for?' Jade frowned

'Being here with me' Beck smiled at her coyly.

'Beck.. Where else would I be?' Jade pointed out seriously.

Beck lifted himself up onto his elbows and slowly began to trace the tip of his finger along the soft curve of Jades rosy lips. Jade closed her eyes, the sensation tingling throughout her whole body and then too soon, he moved his hand away. When she opened her eyes he was staring at her longingly and a part of her wished time would stop so she could just appreciate how beautiful his eyes were. But the loss of contact was driving her insane and as he started to lean back again she quickly slipped her arms around his neck and he fell backwards onto the grass bringing her down with him. Before they had time to think about what they were doing, they were kissing passionately. Their legs intertwined as their tongues fought for dominance and Beck rested his hands on her waist keeping her pressed close against him. They were making out for 10 minutes, hardly stopping to come up for breath as it had been so long and everything had just got on top of them. They kissed and kissed until they had to break apart. Jade was practically lying on top of him at this point and they panted as they looked each other in the eyes.

'God, I love you' Beck gasped pulling Jades face to his breathing in her scent.

'I love you too' Jade promised and they kissed again, needing and divulging in every second of it.

* * *

They pulled up outside Beck's house around 6pm and as soon as Jade parked, she felt Beck's arms around her waist and his soft hair tickled her face as he kissed her neck. Beck lifted his head and their lips met once again in a warm, consuming kiss.

'You were so brave today' Jade said as they broke apart.

Beck shook his head softly 'I wasn't but thanks.'

'I love you, call me if you need someone to talk to ok?' Jade made him promise.

'I love you more' Beck smiled back at her as he climbed out of the car. Jade watched as he walked back towards his house which was still being occupied by his family and kicked a ball back to the younger kids who were playing in the yard. She smiled knowing he would be alright and feeling way better about leaving him there than she did last night. Finally she started her car and began the 15 minute drive back to her house.

Jade parked her car in the drive and walked towards the front door of her house; that was when she suddenly stopped. She realised that the lights were on in the hall and her heart flipped. Unlocking the door, Jade stepped cautiously into the perfectly decorated hallway, her footsteps echoing on the marble floor.

'Jade?' a voice called out.

'Mum?' Jade called back relieved. Her Mum appeared in the hallway from the kitchen and Jade instantly ran over to her, uncharacteristically falling straight into her arms.

'Woah Jade.. What's got into you? Did you miss me?' Jade Mum said in shock. Her daughter hadn't shown any real signs of affection towards her in years so in disbelief she held her tightly and stroked the jet black hair away from the teenagers face slightly concerned. Jade just nodded and continued to hug her Mum close, not wanting to let go. After a couple of minutes her Dad appeared in the hall, probably wondering what all the commotion was about. His stoic face only faltered slightly at the sight of his teenage daughter and wife holding each other as if they'd been reunited after a long, long separation. But in that moment Jade didn't care that her Father was unemotional and cold. She didn't even care that her parents were strict, and argued, and never took interest in her school or her music or writing. She was just happy to have them.

* * *

**All reviewers get a reply :D  
I'd love to reach 100 reviews on this story it would be so cool! Anyways I have other ideas for chapters but i'm not sure exactly how to get bade officially back together, any advice? :) What would you like to see happen next? xx**


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